Woooo. I Tell Ya Boy, I'm Never Gonna Be Too Old to Boogie

SECOND DRAFT - Otis needs a lot of work to bring it up to a level, which I will be happy with although I fear I will never be 100% happy with the end product but at some point I'm just going to have to leave it be. Reading over the dialogue again showed me that is an area that I vastly needed to improve on. There was no back and forth between the characters resulting in monologues each time people speak. The description is too minimalistic and doesn't set the scene well enough therefore then screenplay loses a lot of it's value. The pacing was uneven, which is something I knew was wrong as soon as I finished Otis the first time around. Jordan needed to be changed, his character was all wrong and became somewhat schizophrenic. I want him to come across as a bad father but not a bad person. In order to do this I need to make sure his work ethic is made clear because work is his only escape from thinking about his wife or eventually Otis running away. I am going to place more emphasis on the Wizard of Oz because it sort of appears and then whimpers away by the end of the screenplay. These things are to be expected from a first draft and I am learning every day that I work on Otis. I am also learning a lot from watching a lot of films. Understanding dialogue and what makes good dialogue is what is going to take me to the next level. One thing that I am pleased with is Laurence. I enjoy his character so much and feel he came across well. I am adding another layer to his character, which is to show him as what he is and not necessarily what he wants to be seen as. What I am talking about his him being an old man, who is feeble and vulnerable. I drew from what my granddad who says that he can still do a lot at the age of 75 but when push comes to shove, he needs a lot of help with certain tasks now. His pride gets in the way of letting someone help him out.

The second draft of Otis should be done by Tuesday, so if anyone could read it and give me feedback that would be awesome. I will pay you in kind, probably a drink or two.

I am have also developed an interest in making music videos as well. I always watched them on The Box, Smash Hits or more prominently MTV 2. A good music video usually makes me like songs more when really it should have no effect on it whatsoever. I have gone as far as emailing a band a synopsis for a music video idea I had a few weeks ago, no harm in trying. This is my favourite music video at the moment:
TV On The Radio - You by doyukno

Enjoy

IG

Do You Feel Lucky?....Punk! Yes I Do Actually, Thanks For Asking

OTIS HAS BEEN FINISHED!!!! Well, the first draft has anyway. It took a good 5 or 6 weeks to get the whole 92 pages down but it was a wholly enjoyable experience and just further affirmed my aspirations to do screenwriting as a profession. Eventually I want to build on that by becoming a writer/director. Making a story come to life was a really rewarding feeling and linking everything throughout the screenplay made me feel good about Otis. The first draft will probably be awful but that is why it is the first draft. I am hoping that by the fourth or fifth draft, Otis will be fully functioning and appealing to those who read it, which is the most important thing. I will enter it into the Nicholls Fellowship competition on the 2nd of May, which will only be a second draft but there is no point holding back, I want to get my name out there and I will have nothing to lose apart from the competition fee ;)
Now I move onto my ZOMBIE film, which will be my next writing project. I have been anticipating doing this screenplay whilst writing Otis. Coming up with ideas for it has been refreshing and I have a feeling I am going to have even more fun writing it than Otis. I hope Rabbit In Your Headlights will be a whole hearted zombie romp with reasonable amounts of gore but more importantly a proper story. I hope to have it finished by the end of July, so not long for those of you waiting with bated breath (I know you are out there some bated breath).
I have done an unimaginable thing. I HAVE COME UP WITH A WESTERN!!! I despise Westerns apart from a couple but those are masterpieces. It will be about a lone cowboy who is going around towns killing sheriffs in revenge for a sheriff raping and killing his wife. A sheriff from far out follows his trail and tries to catch the mysterious killer but comes to respect him and defend him. All happy stuff!
IG