The Chain

Yes this post has something to do with the awesome Fleetwood Mac song but more on that later. First of all, Otis is finished! It feels like such an achievement to have written a feature screenplay and one that I actually feel is reasonably good. I'm going to miss writing about all of the characters, especially Laurence, but now is time to move onto...more screenplays. First on my list is to complete the trilogy, yes Otis is part of a trilogy. The trilogy is more about theme than actual sequential story lines. It is called the Road trilogy, where the main characters go on a journey in relation to losing the most important woman in their lives. The other two films that complete the trilogy are Rabbit In Your Headlights and Eye For An Eye.

Rabbit In Your Headlights is the next tick box on my screenplay list. I'm looking forward to setting my own deadlines for that film and having the time to give my work to people with them not being rushed for feedback. Devon and Cornwall won't know what hits it when zombies arrive and bring carnage to the sleepy west country. I want to avoid having comedy involved in this film and it be really emotionally involving for the audience.

Eye For An Eye, the Western I spoke about in an earlier post, has it's opening scene. I'm so excited by this because it just sounds awesome to me. Here it goes: The saloon is completely rammed and the local drunks are shouting abuse, singing songs and smashing glasses. The anti-hero steps into the saloon and The Chain starts to play but it's only instrumental. He asks for a drink but the barman has to have a look for it when one of the drunkards starts on him. The protagonist tells him that he shouldn't have done that. The drunkard smashes a glass on the table and says that he wants a fight. The protagonist turns his head sharply and everything goes slow motion. The bass kicks in and he starts to tear apart the bar, beating up and killing everyone in the saloon before leaving. The barman returns with everyone unconscious. We see the protagonist riding off in the plains. This is going to be a sprawling epic and highly stylised. Going to have to watch a lot of zombie films and Westerns for research in the coming months. Not such a bad thing.

Woooo. I Tell Ya Boy, I'm Never Gonna Be Too Old to Boogie

SECOND DRAFT - Otis needs a lot of work to bring it up to a level, which I will be happy with although I fear I will never be 100% happy with the end product but at some point I'm just going to have to leave it be. Reading over the dialogue again showed me that is an area that I vastly needed to improve on. There was no back and forth between the characters resulting in monologues each time people speak. The description is too minimalistic and doesn't set the scene well enough therefore then screenplay loses a lot of it's value. The pacing was uneven, which is something I knew was wrong as soon as I finished Otis the first time around. Jordan needed to be changed, his character was all wrong and became somewhat schizophrenic. I want him to come across as a bad father but not a bad person. In order to do this I need to make sure his work ethic is made clear because work is his only escape from thinking about his wife or eventually Otis running away. I am going to place more emphasis on the Wizard of Oz because it sort of appears and then whimpers away by the end of the screenplay. These things are to be expected from a first draft and I am learning every day that I work on Otis. I am also learning a lot from watching a lot of films. Understanding dialogue and what makes good dialogue is what is going to take me to the next level. One thing that I am pleased with is Laurence. I enjoy his character so much and feel he came across well. I am adding another layer to his character, which is to show him as what he is and not necessarily what he wants to be seen as. What I am talking about his him being an old man, who is feeble and vulnerable. I drew from what my granddad who says that he can still do a lot at the age of 75 but when push comes to shove, he needs a lot of help with certain tasks now. His pride gets in the way of letting someone help him out.

The second draft of Otis should be done by Tuesday, so if anyone could read it and give me feedback that would be awesome. I will pay you in kind, probably a drink or two.

I am have also developed an interest in making music videos as well. I always watched them on The Box, Smash Hits or more prominently MTV 2. A good music video usually makes me like songs more when really it should have no effect on it whatsoever. I have gone as far as emailing a band a synopsis for a music video idea I had a few weeks ago, no harm in trying. This is my favourite music video at the moment:
TV On The Radio - You by doyukno

Enjoy

IG